Basic Skills means the simple things that every Ideal American should be capable of.

(Advanced skills come later)

Have at it!

Wheee! The fun begins!

Bill,

I knew that refresh button would work eventually! I am not sure what qualifies one as a "regular" but if a pavlovian compulsion to check your page occurs when blank spaces appear, then maybe....

Basic skills, huh?

Reasoning/analysis
Patriotism
Boot strap chin ups
Generosity
Tenacity
Insatiable curiosity
Optimism
Pragmatism
Adaptibility

...darn, I need to puzzle on it some more.

Thank you for assembling this community. (parts sold separately)

Bill,

Great to see you back!

-- Undaunted perseverance!
-- A simple, uncompromising sense of right (kinda like the John Wayne characters).
-- Unpatronizing.
-- Never a "victim".

Lando

Skeeter!

Excellent suggesions all, but I would call all of these ATTRIBUTES that will come when we get to building CHARACTER -- except boot strap chin ups! Those sound cool! What are they? Are they like gravity-inversion boot crunches?

Decisive!

PS --

I'm talking about things like Build a treefort, set box trap, shoot a BB gun, construct a Hot Wheels track -- that sort of thing.

We'll have plenty of time for philosphy down the road. Right now, think Frankenstud just getting off the slab. What should he be able to do? Skin a rabbit? Make fire using flints?

Open a bottlecap with his teeth?

Get the idea?

Got the idea.....skills, not attributes.

-- Industrious
-- Unafraid to sweat - skillful at labor and creative solutions.
-- Placing thoughts into action.
-- Cherishes individuality while contributing to the whole.

Gotta think some more! Gotta go.

Bill... a title for this work?

Lando

Lando, old buddy -- you're still thinking about QUALITIES. Simple, simple SKILLS. Wanting to win is a quality. The ability to hit a fastball is a skill.

And the title, of course, is BUILDING THE IDEAL AMERICAN: A CONSTRUCTION MANUAL

Don't worry. This will take months. We'll have plenty of time to get to all the highfalutin' goodness in the weeks to come.

The ability to espouse and argue for running to Canada during a war in your HS sociology class but joint the military upon graduation.

RE: bootstrap chin ups

Bill,

You've got the idea - but your crunch comes all the way up to your ankles, and they are often done with the additional weight of naysayers and pessimists hanging on your shoulders.

You've seen em, I'm sure - The kid who works two jobs - one to cover tuition and one to help his mom with the rent, and still makes the dean's list.

The cancer patient that finishes vomiting, then tries to ride his bicycle with his friends. Later he wins the Tour de France.

Three times.

FIVE times.

However, I have just added WINNING THE TOUR DE FRANCE to the basic skills that all American should possess.

Skeeter gets the first brownie point!

Okay, skills.

I had to dig around here a little bit to find this - Lazarus Long described some skills that may apply - I haven't looked at these in a long time...

"An *American* should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects."
Robert A. Heinlein

Sorry Bill,

I thought it was three post cancer.

My bad.

I'm back.

Okay....I think I got it.

The CLASSIC American can just nick the top a running rabbit's head at 200 yards with a single shot from his trusty firearm. He uses the hide to make coats for his 4 kids and feeds his family of 6 (plus a traveller or two) for a month from the meat. He uses the leftovers for for slopping the hogs and fertilizing his vegetable garden. Finally, he figgers (real Americans don't figure) out a way to give the lucky rabbit's feet to five of his friends.

I think that is what you are looking for.

Lando

Hiya, Bill!

I would add that an American should be able to:

Shoot accurately
Argue rationally
Barbecue (Anything!)
Drink without getting drunk
Get drunk if it damned well pleases
Make fire anywhere
Decide to become an astronaut
Become an astronaut
Walk on other planets/moons
Become the de facto leader of the world

For starters.

Bill, you're inspiring a Canadian to switch nationalities. And assuming you know something of Canadian culture, you realize this is very high praise indeed.

As for basic skills, I'm with skeeter. Heinlein did say it best. The ideal American is, after all, an advanced polymath.

Above all, the Ideal American will Adapt, Improvise, and Overcome.

So life throws a curve ball, and plans are set awry. The Ideal American will stop, analyze what has happened, change what the circumstance is, find a way to do what he originally set out to do, and then do what he damn well wanted in the first place.

The Ideal American might go down in flames as he strives for his goal. It happens. Swinging mightily during each at bat, taking the strike outs with as much grace as getting that home run.

The Ideal American can wage war with ferocity, yet can try to save a child from the fury of the war while fighting and dying. The Ideal American understands that, to quote Mad Mike Williamson, "War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left." and continues with all his might.

Finally, the Ideal American just keeps on keepin' on. Throw obstacles in her way, she perseveres. She might stop, but she'll never quit.

The Ideal American knows that you can stop trying 30 minutes after you die, because you've heard the old Irish toast "May you be in Heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you're dead."

Sapper Mike

"To Ride, Shoot Straight, And Speak The Truth."

Jeff Cooper might pass your American test, wouldn't he? :)

Definitely barbecue. Nice one, Ed. Also:

eat fast and with his fingers
be polite and casual at the same time
change tire/oil on a car
park a conversion van or Cadillac
identify John Wayne, Steve McQueen, etc
quote at least one line from Smokey and the Bandit

He he.

Kipling seems to have nailed it.

Just change the last line from "Man" to "American", and you've got it.

Rereading this for the first time in a long while, I'm struck by how good a summary this is of last couple of years, especially of Bush vs. the UN types.

If
By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Basic skills...hmmm.... every American needs the ability to see past the end of his nose and to be able to read, write and think coherently. Every American knows how to play catch and backyard football, call his/her congressman to complain about the government, and how to find the best bargain price on anything he/she wants to purchase. But I think the single most basic skill for an American is - voting. If you can't figure out how to vote, you have no voice. If you know how and don't do it, you have no right to complain about anything.

An Ideal American should be able to:

Walk like John Wayne,
Spit like Clint Eastwood,
Texas two step,
Waltz,
End a relationship like Rhett Butler,
Drive anything....fast....
Know how to use a firearm,
and hit what you're aiming at,
Earn a living with a shovel or a hammer.
Milk a cow,
Pet a kitten,
Skin a deer,
Make a fire,
Cook a meal in a single frying pan.
Sing in the shower,
Change a diaper,
Care for a baby,
Build and use a rope swing,
Know and daily use the words: Yes/No Sir, Yes/No Ma'am, Please, Thank you, You're Welcome and Congratulations.
Should also know when to use the words: "Step outside and say that", "you're either with me or against me", "win one for the Gipper" and "Because it was the right thing to do".
Can take a punch, and deliver one also.
Climb trees,
Use a compass and map,
Earn his own money and live within that limit.
Tell a joke,
Laugh when the jokes on him,

and

Turn a mountain into a statue,
Build a city of millions in a river delta,
Dam a river,
Grow enough grain to feed millions,
Walk on the moon,
Circumnavigate the world in a ballon, submarine, or airplane(without refueling).
Build your own spaceship
Take an untethered space walk.
Understand the issues and Vote,
Serve others,
Think for themselves,
and, when necessary, not be afraid to cry, ask for help or pray, and then get up and start taking care of the problem yourself until help arrives.

Want to build an Ideal American woman? Please be sure to install the following skill packages:

Homecare package. Cooking, cleaning, organizing. Includes skills in shooting intruders, frontal assault of school system bureaucrats, gutting, skinning, smoking and serving of whatever Ideal American male brings home. In hard times can include weaving, sewing, candlemaking, animal husbandry, medicine, dentistry, farming and hunting.

Childbirth package. Includes staying at home to raise them. If plumbing is faulty, will adopt or foster. This package includes 24-hour care, discipline, and teaching of values to create either 1. Ideal American Male or 2. Ideal American Female.

Cherish and Honor package: Unconditional love to husband and family. Provides a serene home, happy children, and a body and intellect that are well exercised. This package will prevent Ideal American Woman from sagging into a shrill, mindless lump who can entertain neither a spirited discussion of politics or an equally spirited interlude in the bedroom.

Warning: Upgrade is permanent. Don't even think of breaking a vow to an upgraded Ideal American Woman. See Home Care package and refer to gutting/skinning et al.

at last a break into some new territory good goin bill i enjoy the new style.

not to sure about lumping the indian in with the frog and the weasel. all three get a bad rap but the indian seems to be thrown in with worst kind of american category. still thats nothing new. they may not have the qualities to join the ideal american despite fitting bill's bill, but they were certainly the original. "perhaps the feature should be called building the new improved american."

ive been curious about your attitude to race since you said you had an essay entitled 'race'. i suspect that the all perfect american cant claim racism as a quality but i have always suspect this whole blog of undermining itself by claiming that americans are in fact the master race. cant wait for the rest :)

Allow me to second "Sapper Mike" 's list. But:

An American should be able to express a book's worth of philosophy in a statement that will fit on the average-sized t-shirt, bumper sticker, or button. Said statement will typically rhyme, or swing, or rock.

viz:

"Use it up; wear it out; make it do; or do without."

"I don't give 'em hell. I give 'em the truth and they THINK it's hell."

"You guys ready? Let's roll!"

" ... revolution? Well, you know, we'd all love to see the plan. ... Contribution? ... We're all doing what we can..."

(Seen on green shirt worn by black, Korean Vietnamese, or other obviously "racial minority" group member:)
"KISS ME!
I'm
*I*R*I*S*H* !"

When it is pointed out the American that his t-shirt philosophy is simplistic, distorted and incomplete, he unconcernedly requests you to point out the book-length exposition of philosophy that is any better.

Alpha,
There are women like Bonnie described out there still, I married one almost 4 years ago. It's one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Frankly, imho the lack of women who can take care of their families, due to either lack of time because of their career, lack of ability because they never learned or were never taught how to do so, or both, is part of problem many families have with surviving. It's amazing how much more flexible your budget is when you do not depend on McDonald's(or the 'tv dinner' section of your local grocer) to provide meals.

Back on topic, amusing article, Bill.

I'm looking forward to this manual. But speaking of that word, you've hit one of my pet peeves. It's "Foreword", not "Forward". As in the word that comes before the main text. Not to be sarcastic (honestly!), but one basic skill should be correct use of the language.

"What should he be able to do? Skin a rabbit? Make fire using flints?"

Robert Heinlein:

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Lazarus Long in 'Time Enough for Love'

I don't know if Heinlein actually did all these things, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

I've gotta second what Sapper Mike, David, and Bonnie had to contribute. Good stuff, all. Oh, and the Barbecue - that's an essential.

Additional Basic Skills:

- The proper care and feeding of a Red Rider 200-Shot Carbine Action Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
- How to suitably mock a Euroweenie.
- Training a good dog.
- Demonstrating your strength through gentleness...unless it's time to kick butt. And knowing how to tell the difference.
- Always remembering true friends and allies.
- How to turn the double play.

Scott

What seems to us almost a miracle as we look back upon it is nothing else than the reward for infinite and unwearying labor.... And now for that labor we have received from Providence our reward, just as the America of the 18th century received its reward. At that time America shared in those blessings which we think of under Democracy. But America has learned that democracy in practice is a different thing from democracy in theory.
The American Dream and it's people both seemed lost. And then came the American resurrection. It began with a change of faith. While all the American parties before us believed in forces and ideals which lay outside of the American reach and outside of our people, we have resolutely championed belief in our own people, starting from that watchword of eternal validity: God helps only those who are prepared and determined to help themselves. In the place of all those international factors - Democracy, the Conscience of Peoples, the Conscience of the World, the UN, and the like - we have set a single factor - our Freedom. . . .
We were all convinced that a true country is not produced overnight - it is not attained through theories or programs - but that through many decades, yes, and perhaps always and for all time the individual must be trained for this country. This work of education we have carried through ever since the country was founded and especially since we came into power. But nothing is perfect in this world and no success can be felt to be finally satisfying. And so, even today, we have no wish to maintain that our achievement is already the realization of our ideal. We have an ideal which floats before our minds and in accordance with that ideal we educate Americans, generation after generation. So America will continually be transformed from a profession of political faith to a real education of the people....
The umbrella-carrying types of our former European bourgeois socialists are not extinguished, but they shall disappear, and they will never return...
From the very first day we have proclaimed as a fundamental principle: 'the American is either the first soldier in the world or he is no soldier at all.' No soldiers at all we cannot be, and we do not wish to be. Therefore we shall be only the first. As one who is a lover of peace we have endeavored to create for the American people such an army and such munitions as are calculated to convince others, too, to seek peace.
There are, it is true, people who abuse the hedgehog because it has spines. But they have only got to leave the animal in peace. No hedgehog has ever attacked anyone unless he was first threatened. That should be our position, too. Folk must not come too near us. We want nothing else than to be left in peace; we want the possibility of going on with our work, we claim for our citizens the right to live, the same right which others claim for themselves. And that the democratic people above all others should grasp and understand, for they never stop talking about equality of rights. If they keep talking about the rights of small peoples, how can they be outraged if in its turn a great people claims the same right? Our American Forces serve to secure and guarantee this claim of right.
It is with this in view that in foreign policy also we have initiated a change in our attitude and have drawn closer to those who like us were compelled to stand up for their rights.
And when today I examine the results of this action of ours, then I am able to say: Judge all of you for yourselves: Have we not gained enormously through acting on these principles?
But precisely for this reason we do not wish that we should ever forget what has made these successes of ours possible. When certain foreign newspapers write: 'But all that you could have gained by the way of negotiation,' we know very well that America before our day did nothing but negotiate continuously. For fifteen years they only negotiated and they lost everything for their pains. The modern American is ready to negotiate but should leave no one in any doubt that neither by way of negotiation nor by any other way will we allow the rights of America to be cut down. Never forget, American people, to what it is you owe your successes - to what dreams, to what ideas, and to what principles! And in the second place: always be cautious, be ever on your guard!
In a democratic republic, the Government has only one duty: to maintain democracy, and that means the liberty, if necessary, to make pre-emptive war.
Bill Whittle has spoken admirably of the great minds of ideal Americans, among them our very own Emperor Misha, who only recently served our country by publicly posting the personal details of a traitor, nay, a ROAD map to the scum's house, offering a reward for this traitors demise. Little steps. Great minds will always win, and that is why we have no fear. Likewise, will strike fear into the hearts of traitors. The Ideal American Guide not only fills one with pride, it more importantly remarks upon the SHADOW of the ideal American, the opposite of great mind's such as Emperor Misha. So yes, lock and load...and liberals, traitors, , yes YOU, who are about to post a bumbling response, there's another signed T Shirt for the first to inform me that you have died in a "tragic" accident.
Accidents DO happen, you know, and that's the kind of news that would definitely make my entire day. Don't take this too seriously (anyone can find your home address I might just take their load off and post it myself, the web is SO resourceful, he he!) if somebody might have gotten the wrong idea I deeply regret that.
But I will not, cannot, pretend to care one little whit about the despicable little turds meeting up with Karma. Hell, maybe someone might fancy a little bow practice...

Keep up the good work Bill, Misha...you make us proud!

My suggestions:

The Ideal American should be able to:
- Sing the national anthem.
- Recite the Pledge of Alliegance (and mean it)
- Quote one or more of the following: The Preamble to the US Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Gettysburg Address.
- Optionally, they may also be able to quote the opening sequence or theme song of Law & Order, Gilligan's Island, A-Team, or the Dukes of Hazard.
- Speak English.
- Drive a big gas-guzzling vehicle.
- Know the words to at least one song by Elvis Presley, or Johnny Cash.
- Be able to reason (that's a skill).
- Be able to hold a job and pay taxes.
- Be able to gripe about how much they pay in taxes.
- Breakdance.

Bonnie, you stick with your guns. I chose to stay home with my kids over the wails and protestations of my friends and I've never regretted it.

The right choice for me may not have been the right choice for other women, but it was still mine to make.

I guess skepticism toward self-proclaimed experts (i.e., social engineers) is an attribute, so the attendant skill would be the ability to say "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard" (while walking like John Wayne and spitting like Clint Eastwood, of course.)

Smart enough to succeed, too stupid to quit!

Nice.

"You may also find people sneering at and mocking you during the construction process."

People sneered at and mocked Noah during construction of the Ark. And oh, how well that worked for them. :-)

The ideal American will:

Learn to shoot and have ample firepower at disposal

Eat more chicken and beef

Earn enough that his wife can afford nice clothes

Speak English

Vote Republican

Never tolerate taxes

Vow never to replace insurance-market based health care with state-funded primary healthcare.

Always be mindful that a problem prevented is a profit opportunity lost.

Buy real estate on Mars.

Become a celebrity.

As for basic skills....

Read,
Write,
Do arithmetic,
Speak truthfully, and
Keep your word.

Start with those fundamentals, and everything else should have a good foundation to be built upon.

I think the first thing iz not let the Left into our countreeee! Anyone disagreez can suck my muzzle!

ROCK AND ROLL! Finally, TRUE Americanz get what iz rightfully therz. Bring it ON!!!

*snort* Huh? Wha? Oh! YES!

Crap, looks like people already beat me to most of what I had in mind... but I have a few left.

1. Say "Aw, it's just a scratch" when the blood is hitting the opposite wall.
2. Cook and eat anything organic.
3. Perform home first aid for anything that doesn't actually require surgery, using only a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, needle and thread, roll of bandages, and bottle of whiskey.
4. Swear for at least fifteen seconds without taking a breath or repeating yourself.
5. Drink a shot of anything without coughing.
6. Eat rare steak and raw oysters.
7. Speaking a foreign language is nonessential; however, being able to swear in at least one is.
8. Fish.
9. Camp overnight without killing yourself.
10. Say "no" to ANYONE.

As for what Bonnie said... I'm all for it, even though I don't really fit the bill. (I technically can cook, but except for a few established dishes of mine Tom chases me out of the kitchen. "What are you doing with my whisk? Oh my God- are you washing my cast iron?! Out! Out!")

I doubt I could be happy as a stay-at-home mom- I need an intellectual focus outside of the home and I don't like children very much- but that's why I'm not a mom. Frankly families ARE better off if a parent can give more or less round the clock attention; I don't care if it's the man or the woman, personally. I'm glad my mom stayed at home and read to me all the time- that's why I learned to read before I was three.

I'm with Bonnie, here re: the Ideal American Woman. No, it isn't medieval, it's capable. It's highly skilled.

What would I add?
Well, physical skills have been mostly covered, and my suggestion falls more under the heading of "qualities", but an Ideal American should be adaptable.

You guys remind me that I've been dealing with intellectual elitists (read: Leftists) for way too long. Thanks.

The knowledge that everything can improve;
that this includes myself;
and the will and ability to make it so.

Problems aren't there to be ignored; they are there to be solved.

Well that's just great, you already said "Build a HotWheel's track".....there goes MY idea.

Alright, surprise you? Hmmmm...

Help an old lady across the street.

Hold the door open for anyone coming into (or out of) the building behind them.

Know how to write their congressman.

Vote.

Know how to read a map.

Barter.

Make home movies with an old 8mm camera using plastic dinosaurs and Star Wars action figures, complete with fire and those rockets you filled with water...

Climb a tree--erm...well, that might leave some out....

Dang, this is hard...

Mow the lawn.

Change a tire.

Hammer a nail.

Ok...obviously I'm grasping here...I'll stop wasting bandwidth.

An Ideal American must be able to create and raise new Ideal Americans with the help of an Ideal American of the opposite gender.

Personally, I'd like to see some personal responsibility. If you're 3 year old drowns in the pool because you weren't watching him, the pool manufacture (or fence/gate, or city water, etc) is NOT responsible. If we stop feeding the lawyers, they might just go away...

The Ideal American should be able to:

Construct ANYTHING out of Lego blocks.

Repair anything using duct tape.

Build a solid fort out of whatever materials are on hand.

Defend said fort with whatever weapons are on hand.

Quote lines from Bond. James Bond.

Do the same from Star Trek.

Keep your eye on the ball...whatever the game.

THIS is going to be a CLASSIC!

And should be book #2.

(BTW, what about book #1?)

Looking forward to the next installment.

Design and build all kinds of things - like a garden shed or bookcase.
Repair most common household items.

I read some years ago that 'do it yourself' is unknown in France (and I suppose most of the continent.) If a Frenchman has a leaky faucet he calls a plumber to replace the washer.

An American will fix it him/herself and only call a repairman if it's too complex (or he/she breaks it.)

Benjamin DeKraker,

You have to know how to use duct tapa AND WD40.

And know when to use each.

MonkeyPants
Imperial Minion

Bill,
One basic skill, recently re-introduced to the basic American model:

DIPLOMACY - the kind with your knee on his chest and your knife at his throat. The unspoken, and unconcealed, threat that makes for simple communication. See LIBYA or QADDAFI, MUAMMAR for prime example.

Welcome back to the saloon, Bill.

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to others and I require the same of them."

John Wayne - The Shootist, 1976

Perhaps a bit premature for the manual.

Upon more contemplation of boot strap chinups -

A couple of examples are in order. (Fill in the sport of your choice.)

Americans dominate swimming in international competitions, in large part due to an age group competitive swimming program (YMCA, AAU) that was in place before Bill cut his first tooth. And we have produced many, many, gold medallists/world record holders from this program.

But what about the kids who didn’t win the gold? This is not a discussion of those who went on to Little League, or ballet, as the next activity. What about the ones who got up every morning at 4am for practice? The ones who skipped prom to attend the District meet? The ones who gave up all the other choices and WENT FOR IT – ALL OF IT, yet missed the brass ring?

They have spent their passion, their time, maybe their youth, and didn’t hedge a bit of it. And didn’t quite get there. And the miss is not a character flaw, or lack of focus. And the reason is often because they are running with the fastest crowd around. In another country, they might make the Olympic team, no problem.

But not here.

And they cry, maybe. And they get up the next day. And dust themselves off. And they go on. And they raise families. And they use what they learned. And they pass it along.

Another example.

A couple of guys come up with a great idea for a personal computer. Offer it to Atari – “we’ll even work for free, just get us components and a spot to develop this!” Get turned down. Develop a kick ass operating system. Despite a passionate and faithful following, miss the brass ring, because the business community goes with a competitor’s OS and software developers follow suit. To add insult to injury, elements of the look and feel of this system are co-opted by this competitor. Again, running in pretty fast company.

One of the ways an American can demonstrate mastery of bootstrap chin ups is to repeat them.

Ipod anyone?

Skill: Ability to capture a great number Europeans using one bolt-action rifle (optional skill, requires long periods of time on a farm shooting "varmints.") Skill aptly demonstrated by the "Sergeant York" model of the Ideal American, circa 1917.

The ideal American must know how to keep going in spite of pain, exhaustion or fear. Absolutely must be able to conceal those feelings from those who depend on him or her.

Basic Skills = Virtues
Once again, from Ayn Rand:
1) Rationality: the recognition and acceptance of Reason as one's only source of knowledge, one's only judge of values, and one's only guide to action
2) Independence: one's acceptance of the responsibility of forming one's own judgements and living by the work of one's own mind.
3) Integrity: loyalty in action to one's convictions and values
4) Honesty: the refusal to fake reality - the refusal to pretend that the facts are other than they are; recognising that the unreal is just that, and can have no value and, moreover, that respect for truth is not a social duty but a selfish virtue. (selfish in the good sense - "concerned with self")
5) Justice: the virtue of judging men's character and conduct objectively and acting accordingly, granting to each man that which he deserves
6) Productiveness: the process of creating material values, wealth - and the understanding that it is the product of man's mind, and that productive work is the process by which your consciousness controls your existence
7) Pride: which is the recognition that you are your own highest value,that a virtuous character has to be earned, and that the result of earning it is self-esteem.

These represent the primary virtues, according to Objectivism. Some others are also clearly present in true Americans:
Courage - to adhear to one's principles no matter what the cost
Generosity - to grant to all men that they are virtuous, if and until they prove otherwise, and to treat them accordingly, with civility and respect
Determination: the committment to struggle on in the face of adversity, for a worthy goal
Loyalty: to those who share one's basic values, and to the principles that underpin them, and the nation that embodies them

Most American traits I recognize can be summed up in a variation of the Marine Corps General Order to "walk my post from flank to flank and take no shit from any rank." The whole familarity with firearms, campcraft, physical fitness, patriotism, etc. is in there.

We love our cars, which represent freedom and independence. If they don't, then why do 16-year-olds lust after cars and the elderly refuse to give them up?

Ideal Americans drive well, a skill that involves consistent behaviors that apply to life away from the steering wheel.
* Keep your eyes moving to scan the road ahead of you.
* Move the car forward as quickly and as safely as conditions allow.
* Stay to the right unless passing.
* Refrain from riding the brake pedal.
* Maintain a 3-second following distance.
* Often check all mirrors to monitor side and rear traffic.
* Look over your shoulders to check blind spots before changing lanes.
* Use the turn signals.
* Reserve the horn for extreme situations only.
* Keep the music low enough to hear police, fire and ambulance sirens.
* Restrict edibles to simple finger foods like baby carrots.
* Keep the cell phone off while the car's in motion.

--Scramble an egg.
--Shoot a rifle and get at least 6 out of 10 inside the kill zone.
--Load and unload any gun.
--Plant seeds.
--Sew a button on a piece of clothing.
--Milk a cow/ride a horse.
--Calculate simple interest and correctly calculate the tip on a restaurant check.
--Make correct change.
--Ask a woman to dance with charm/accept or decline a man's invitation with grace.
--Speak with equal ease and confidence with the weak or the powerful.
--Read.
--Change a diaper.
--Curse in at least 3 languages.
--Punch a paper ballot correctly.
--Drive.
--Play at least one of the following card games: Bridge, Poker, Hearts, Canasta, Gin, or Go Fish.
--Sing the correct words to the Spar Spangled Banner.

Those were mine. I'll cheat. Here are Jefferson's:
--To give to every citizen the information he needs for the transaction of his own business;

--To enable him to calculate for himself, and to express and preserve his ideas, his contracts and accounts, in writing;

--To improve, by reading, his morals and faculties;

--To understand his duties to his neighbors and country, and to discharge with competence the functions confided to him by either;

--To know his rights; to exercise with order and justice those he retains; to choose with discretion the fiduciary of those he delegates; and to notice their conduct with diligence, with candor, and judgment;

--And, in general, to observe with intelligence and faithfulness all the social relations under which he shall be placed.

Thomas Jefferson: Report for University of Virginia, 1818

Can't disagree with any of his (yeah, I know that some of them are borderline concepts, but there are skills within).

Just a quick note about the barbecue.
When I was staioned in Germany or Korea, it was always easy to tell which apartments in a building had Americans living in them. There were almost invariably barbecues on the balconies. The Germans and Koreans I met were all very enthusiastic about barbecued food, especially pork ribs.

How about: Defend the right of another to espouse at the top of his lungs that which you would spend the rest of your life opposing.

I didn't make that up, but I forget exactly how it goes or who said it. Jefferson? Franklin? Hamilton?

Special Ed

An American must be able to..

"Speak softly and carry a big stick" (or pistol, rifle, aicraft mounted gatling gun, MOAB, etc.)

Gotta love Teddy!

The Ideal American should be able to shovel their front steps, drive-way and sidewalk as well as those of the elderly couple next door before going to work.

The Ideal American should be able to go down any slippery slope, including those created by snow plows OR should be able to spot an alternative route which provides more traction (i.e., areas not cleared by said snow plow.)

Ok this took some serious thinking.

This American we are building has the following salient skills -
Can listen intently,
Can see Great Wisdom in the words,
Can see Bullshit in the words,
Can Know the heart of God
Can be tough, but fair
Will give his/her last dollar to help a friend
Will kill a tryant with no remorse
Will give a kid a piece of candy - a smile being thanks enough
Will watch a friend die and Understand what it is about
Will reward honesty
Will punish treachery
Can fight with abandon
Can love with abandon
Can bring Peace by fighting for the right.
Will what is right, even in the face of fear
Can learn to do anything they set their mind to.

Whoa Whoa WHOA! CATS not American? The cat walks by himself. The cat doesn't give a s*** what you or anyone else thinks. The cat will be your friend on it's terms, not on yours. The cat will purr when happy and hiss when mad - there is no duplicity here. The cat cleans up it's own messes. Dictators love dogs, not cats. Cats can project force at a distance (allergies). Dogs are licensed and controlled by the government - cats? Heh. Carried to the extreme, a dog is a wolf - a cat is a Tiger. Double heh. I will not presume to debate the efficacy of a canine as American raw material, heck it's a big kennel and there's room for all. But please make room for the AmeriCat - not that he cares.

Alpha:

Let's look at this, shall we?

"Arrogant...ignorant... willfully obnoxious..."? Well... To quote our host:

"... Americans have not only explored the surface of the moon and sent back stunning images of the solar system and the farthest reaches of deep space; they have also tamed continents, connected oceans, won world wars, flown earlier, faster, higher and further than anyone else, made tons more money and had over nine and a half times more fun than our closest competitor, the Ideal Australian."

Ain't braggin' if you've done it.

"..hateful... self absorbed/obsessed..."? I'm sorry; perhaps you can provide a cite for this in Bill's article.

Or perhaps not.

"...believe americans are the master race?"

Alpha, you need to work on your reading skills. The whole point of this article --of the whole series, as Whittle has described it to us -- is that *anyone* can become an American, whether or not you were born in the US.

Let me quote James Lileks' blog for this date:

"... When I think of an American astronaut on Mars, I can’t imagine a face for the event. I can tell you who staffed the Apollo program, because they were drawn from a specific stratum of American life. But things have changed. Who knows who we'd send to Mars? Black pilot? White astrophysicist? A navigator whose parents came over from India in 1972? Asian female doctor? If we all saw a bulky person bounce out of the landing craft and plant the flag, we’d see that wide blank mirrored visor. Sex or creed or skin hue – we’d have no idea.

This is the quintessence of America: whatever face you’d see when the visor was raised, it wouldn’t be a surprise."

We are an "intentional nation", to borrow some sociological cant. It's not about birth; it's about making certain choices, living in certain ways... which Bill is doing, by *explaining* what an American *is*.

Sorry about your strawmen, alpha.

Skills for the ideal American:

- Will work for food.

America was built on work ethic. Everything else follows from this.

no no bill is not explaining what an american is at all. thats not the heading. bill is talking about the IDEAL american, one that fits bills bill. ( why does daffy duck spring to mind??) giove a oken to that american mother with thirteen babies, thats what he's on about. in this case, having learned rom the mistakes of the past, by substituting american for arian, you deftly bypass all the traditional contrary views, but the intent is the same. this blog is all about how americans are simply the best. its the same as every other megalomaniac argument from goebbles to the king of siam. bill even has indisputeable evidence. its so great we can all join in, and be hanged if we dont want to.

you confirm my claim of arrogance by assuming that everyone would want to be an american given the chance. boy are you so wrong.

The ability to distinguish between a right, a privilege, and a restriction, whether such restriction is applied to oneself or one's neighbor.

The courage to be free, including but not limited to, the courage to allow one's NEIGHBORS to be free and the acceptance of cause & effect.

The ability to put more trust in six-pack Joe down the street than in a nameless, faceless, unaccountable government bureacracy.

A deeply ingrained sense of resentment towards those who would tyrannize.

An easy-going morality, one that is more strict when turned inward than turned outward, is also of great benefit.

Basic Skills:

1. Telling Right from Wrong
2. Call BS on 'experts'
3. Disdain for 'moral equivilancy' and similar ideas.
4. Understand they only 'deserve' something when they 'work' for it.
5. Innate suspicion of anything that seems too easy; i.e. universal health care, 'free membership', ad neaseum.
6. Unshaking belief that you can have or do anything if you work for it hard enough.

Some of the basics are: Catch a horse and teach to be ridable.
Make a good rope from whatever is handy.
Make a shelter from whatever is available.
Make a fire anywhere.
Have a hot pot of coffee for any unanounced visitors at any time.
Hit a nail on target every time the hammer is swung.
Recycle any and all possible materials.
Knows as long as in the sovereign United States, not ever lost.
Navigates by the stars and the moon at night and by the sun by day.
Able to find hidden caches of water.
Can track by whatever telltale signs that are left by the traveler.
Stops, looks and listens effectively.

More later.:)

Alpha: Careful with those "arian" accusations. You're approaching Godwin's Limit... not to mention failing Whittle's Progressive Test.

Alpha,
it's all about choice.
You can choose to become an Ideal American. No one will force you or anyone else to consider these ideas. No one will enforce these ideas by rounding up dissenters and killing them.
Your "arian" accusation reveals your choice to remain stupid.

Basic skill:

Ability to use the shift key to denote the beginning of sentences.

Alpha, too busy writing to hang you. Please go hang yourself.

Don't want to play along? Okay. I hereby authorize the Arian Nazi Conformance Squad to lower their weapons. You may now use your BACK button and return to more dimly lit pastures.

What you are NOT going to do is sit there on the sidelines and piss and whine and criticize. Know why? It's UN-AMERICAN. I know this is all people like you know how to do. You have my pity.

Oh, by the way: I'll determine my intentions, not you.

My high-minded days of tolerating idiots hijacking my website to lower the worldwide IQ are -- temporarily, at least -- behind me.

Just wanted you to get this message out before the IP ban kicks in. I know you'll turn this into a little fantasy about your dissent being stifled, as I'm sure every miserable, insufferable, whining dipshit has as they are asked to leave polite company and escorted from the premises.

Buh-bye!

Well,

I see here a lot of skills that are nice ones to have, but I think most of them are optional modular skill packages.

I agree with the poster who mentioned "work for food".

I suppose a couple others that I consider indispensible are:

- ability to drive an automobile
- reckoning (a mite more sophisticated than a wild-assed guess, but doesn't need four years of college)
- apply heat to turn groceries into food
- crack or be able to take a joke
- throw a ball

All in all, I can imagine an ideal American that can cook, but not shoot, or vice versa. Remember that if we've seen fantastic Americans without five senses or the full compliment of limbs, I'm not going to argue that you can't be an ideal American because you can't field strip a rifle or skin a rabbit. Those are all things that come from attributes like Yankee ingenuity or being able to take crummy news in stride.

For my money an ideal American might not know how to shoot, but darned well will learn if needed. Likewise, building a treehouse, skinning a rabbit, building, designing, etc. We're, if nothing else, adaptible, because we don't need to take basic courses in X, Y, or Z before we're raring to go and chomping at the bit.

Alpha: I *warned* you about Godwin's Limit.

Heh.

Bill, Add to basic skills:

--Learning from your mistakes.

Alpha:

No one who reaches for the "arian" card in an argument -- and *mispells it* -- has any credibility when they accuse anyone else of shoddy reasoning.

Your "apology" comes across like an attempt to have your cake and eat it too; to plant the "arian" meme in the discussion while washing your hands of it.

The rhetorical trick sounded shoddy even in Shakespeare's masterful hands (Antony's eulogy for Julius Caesar, Act III, Sc. 2). It sounds pitiful in yours.

Go find a fork, alpha. You're *done*.

The ability to turn a value into a goal,

to turn that goal into a strategy,

to take action in accord with that strategy,

to change the strategy however much is needed in order to yield a result that matches the goal,

and to celebrate the achievement and do it again.

Part of our purpose as human beings is to solve problems/improve things/create Quality. Americans have made this idea the foundation of our economy and society.

The most self-interested among us work damned hard to provide value for others in exchange for value the provide in return.

Put another way: "Have wants, take chances, don't quit, enjoy every minute of it, but especially enjoy winning."

George

I wish I lived in an alternate universe where the biggest racial melting pot on the planet could be seriously called a "master race" and blind invective is a "reasoned argument"- after you've said you don't need reason if you have the right point of view.

It sounds like a simpler place.

... value "they" provide in return...

Kinda punctuates the persistence idea, doesn't it?

G

Re: alpha --

Res ipsa loquitur.

George,
thank you for bringing up Quality. Robert Pirsig's "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" came to mind last night. Will look for the appropriate care/quality passage tonight.

Bill,

Comments so far are great...

1)Failed. My IA needs to have failed and done so repeatedly. Its the only way to really learn.

2)Been rescued. My IA knows that sometimes you just need help and that nothing beats being prepared. They learned that the hard way (1). This also teaches my IA to help others both in time of need and before with prep.

Did anyone track-back the recently-fired Alpha to his lair? Lots of lunatic sites specialize in a particular brand of reality disconnect, but WHAT REALLY HAPPENED is apparently going to make it up in volume.

I'm done with those people. Arguing with them is like arguing with potato salad.

Didn't have to time to read through all of these, but I hope someone mentioned "proper firearm usage."

Also, all Americans should have a sense of humor.

First, I'd like to make a comment to Alpha. Americans are not a Master Race. We are the most diverse bunch of mongrels on the planet - and proud of it. Anyone can join. Membership is open to anyone who "holds these truths to be self evident".

Now, I’ll address the skills. Americans are do'ers. They must be able to do what needs to be done and have the will to do it.

Americans are able to be anything they want to be --and if it hasn't been invented yet, invent it so they can be.

Americans must have the ability to learn and research so they can do anything.

Americans must have the ability to detect bullsh**. A healthy skepticism is a necessity.

Americans must have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at a joke or more importantly at themselves. Taking ourselves too seriously is not a good thing.

Oh! And an Ideal American needs an instinctive sense of right and wrong and the ability to act on it without hours of debate!

Well, I don't know if this is basic or not. I guess its more difficult for some... but real Americans can all certainly believe in something bigger than themselves (ie love, justice, truth, etc) and are willing to die defending such things.

The ideal American will know that every nation sees itself as superior to all other nations. Patriotism is universal.

It is built partly on fact, mostly on myths created by its people and its government.

Americans believe we are superior to other nations and can tell you why. Britishers think they are superior and can tell you why. Germans are convinced they are and can, with apologies, tell you why. The French believe it more firmly than most, though they are unsure why.

That doesn't stop France from requiring that every nation must print its passports in French.

The people of Libya, a country three times the size of France and a sponsor of what Americans call international terrorism, believe leader Mu'ammar al-Qadhafi is the greatest living person, and believe their nation is the world leader in moral values as a freedom fighter.

They believe it so completely that people who study these things, like CIA and State Department agents, call Libyans the most patriotic people in the world.

Iraqis feel the same about Saddam and Iraq. They are as willing as Brits, French, Libyans, or U.S. Marines to lay down their lives in their just cause. Everyone who believes in a god believes he sides with them.

Patriotism is, for the most part, a bundle of exaggerations pleasant to believe, recorded onto human cassettes.

There are many ways it gets recorded on young minds. School textbooks for one. State education codes require that public school textbooks promote, in the typical words of the Texas code, "democracy, patriotism, and the free-enterprise system."

Convincing people they are the greatest is an easy process which is why every government is successful. People want to believe it. First they interpret history so they look good. Then they create myths of superiority for themselves. Mark Twain's wise observation "You can't reason someone out of something they weren't reasoned into" explains why these myths last a lifetime.

Here are some American examples.

Your school history book told you the British burned the US capital in 1814 during the War of 1812. Poor, mistreated us. It didn't tell you we burned Canada's capital the year before and the Brits were settling the score. That's why you just learned that. Our moral superiority to the British evaporates if history isn't abbreviated to make us look good.

We must abbreviate to paint a favorable image because actual history shows we've been bad as well as good.

Another example.

For the most part American immigrants were people who left home because they had nothing. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. They came from the group that hadn't made it, or lost whatever they had and decided to start anew in a new land. We glamorize them because some deserve it, but in truth our forebears were largely Europe's losers.

Their strength was not taking losing lying down, for which they deserve respect.

Does that explain why so many Americans find it easier to bond with incompetent and bumbling leaders than to able and accomplished ones? Democracy allows people to choose leaders they can relate to. The flaws of the elected mirror our own.

We aren't taught that. Instead we're given an inflated self-image.

We do learn that most of old Europe doubted the principle on which the US was founded, the principle that common people are capable of choosing their own leaders. We learn that but promptly forget it, and wonder ever after why our local, state, and national governments make blunders, refusing to accept that they are us.

Another example.

Historians decided Woodrow Wilson should be admired for championing the League of Nations because that appealed to historians. Their textbooks tell us all about that but omit that Wilson revived rigid racism in government hiring, and that his armies invaded more of our neighbors to the south than any other President before or since.

Documents show beyond question Wilson was responsible for the banana republics. To gain Wall Street support in his campaigns he ordered wholesale military incursions in Central and South America and installed corrupt governments friendly to US business interests

His administration invented the concept of colonialism without responsibility but no school text says so. His policies destroyed the chance for successful democracies in the area by giving landowners everything and peasants nothing.

Would it damage Wilson's credibility as the tireless champion of the League of Nations to teach a balanced view of the man? Absolutely, so North Americans get zero information in school to understand the US role in creating unstable, unpopular governments in Central and South America.

Another example.

The US adheres to "separation of church and state"

American school children are taught that the nation was founded by pilgrims seeking "religious freedom." Every adult researcher knows they were seeking freedom for themselves and religious tyranny over others, but the second part doesn't make the textbook.

In early Massachusetts you could belong to but one church. If you didn't and you wouldn't join, you were escorted to the Rhode Island line.

Because people enjoyed tobacco it was thought to be evil. In 1630 outdoor pipe smoking was banned in Massachusetts.

Following the thread of religious tyranny through United States history to the present day is essential to understanding this country, yet religious tyranny is never mentioned and seldom referred to.

We do hear that descendants of these settlers in Salem and other towns went silly over witchcraft and, after trial by jury with much the same pomp of trials held today, hanged at least 36 women they absolutely believed in their heart were witches.

Is that the last time our religious tyrants were heard from?

Despite separation of church and state the courts have regularly required witnesses to take an oath to a god with their hand on a Christian Bible.

The US Congress, most state governments, and many local governments open their sessions with a prayer, commonly a prayer specific to one religion.

Legislatures have been forcing daily prayer and symbols of one religion on public schools for decades. Most of these legal requirements, not all, are struck down by the Supreme Court.

"In God We Trust" was not forced to be added to US currency until the war between the states in the mid-19th century.

"Under God" was never part of the pledge to the flag until 1954 when Congress dictated that had to be included. Huge numbers of Americans exercise a right of silence at that point. A legal requirement to believe is